Human Development: Child Stage

On a very rare day in February, when the weather is usually cold and icy, a 70 degree day coincided with an equally rare free admission day at the Denver Zoo. While this made for many a weary zoo employee, bewildered with the literal millions of people who descended upon the place, it made for a fun weekend outing for me and my family, and a good place to observe children from many different backgrounds and cultures. And so it was at the Denver Zoo walking along the paths winding by caged animals, at the Elephant Pavilion where a motorcycle taxi is on display for children to play on, and in a neighborhood pub afterward for dinner, where my observations took place.

My first observation was that, despite the crowds, my two young daughters (ages 3 and 7) tried to run away to see the various animals without thought of how easily we could be separated by the seas of people around us. This typical lack of logic and only thinking about one’s own desires (“egocentric thinking”) instead of cause and effect, brought Piaget’s preopearational stage to mind (Gardiner & Kosmitzki, 34). It also resulted in a “family meeting” where the rules of the day were clearly laid down (stay with your parents!). Despite this initial blindness to their environment, I am glad to say that my daughters were, in fact, quite in tune to the people around them. First, my youngest observed that other families have different colored hair than our family (“some have red hair and some have black!”). Later, my eldest observed how many different languages we were hearing throughout the day (Spanish, Russian, and Hindi were some that I noted). I think this exposure to other cultures was a great experience for all of us, in addition to seeing animals and enjoying some sun.

Most of my observations of the day concerned the culture of gender and, as we know, parents are the primary source of socialization for children - we teach them the cultural expectations, values, beliefs, and gender-role stereotypes (Gardner, 170). First, I overheard a five- or six-year-old Hispanic girl exclaim to her other female sisters or friends, “we’re all girls!” and noted how pleased she was to belong to a group of similarly gendered and aged children. This could just be an example of categorization or grouping that young children do, or it could point to the love, affection and belonging needs that Abraham Maslow theorized.

At the Elephant Pavillion there was a mock Tibetan village complete with a motorcycle taxi. Of course children swarmed all over it to pretend to ride or drive it. I noted that only male children (of various cultural backgrounds and ages) claimed, rather aggressively, the driver’s seat while the female children climbed into the passenger’s seat. My 3-year-old did the same and waited quite a while for the boy to vacate the driver’s seat so that she could “drive,” but he stubbornly stayed put, so she had to reach around him to play with the controls on the dashboard. We are socialized and taught culture by informal and formal learning (Gardiner & Kosmitzki, 67) so I would suggest that this boy, like most boys in our culture, was taught that being aggressive and “in charge” is what is expected of him by virtue of being a boy. Boys are taught this informally through their parents and family units (observing the behavior and mimicking it) and formally in their school settings with other children.

Later, at a local pub, we let our children play out on the patio where some other children were playing. First, the kids all grouped together by age (but not by gender). My 7-year-old joined the older boys who were running around and climbing the fence, while my 3-year-old joined another girl her age, mostly observing the older children and mimicking their behavior. (Bandura’s social cognitive theory of observational learning was definitely happening here). Then I observed how differently they boys behaved. They were climbing the fence of the patio, climbing on top of the tables, and throwing wood from a discarded fencing project around. When my daughters started to mimic this aggressive, potentially dangerous behavior I went to intervene, as I didn’t want anyone to get hurt with flying pieces of wood. I noted two things: I could clearly see on my eldest’s face that she was caught between wanting to have fun and feeling big and cool, but also knowing that she was acting dangerously. She clearly had a crisis of initiative versus guilt, which Erikson described as a child having to “negotiate one’s place within social relationships; learn about the impact on one’s social behavior on others; develop a sense of power” (Gardiner & Kosmitzki, 38). She was actually relieved when I made them stop the dangerous behavior.

I observed, not for the first time this day, how differently boys and girls are parented and taught to behave. What I thought of as dangerous, aggressive behavior was simply ignored by the boy’s parents. Perhaps I’m too cautious and protective of my children because they are girls. This was a thought-provoking experience that made me realize that my reactions indicated a different way of parenting potentially due to the gender difference and that perhaps I’m participating and perpetuating the “boy and girl” culturing of children.

References

Gardiner, Harry W. and Kosmitzki, Corinne. (2008.) Lives Across Cultures: Cross-Cultural Human Development (4th ed.). Boston: Pearson.

Westland, Caron. Week 2 - Lecture - Theories.